Emotional Decisions

"Never make a decision while the reckless
steeds of emotion are thundering in all directions."
- Joseph Panek

There are times in our lives when we experience stressful, chaotic,
or fearful situations; times when we feel completely out of control
in our environment; times when we feel compelled to make an
immediate decision, promise, commitment, or compromise; times
when we are tempted to cast blame for our discomforting
situation upon someone else.

And although we may Think that immediate and quick decisions
are necessary to calm our racing minds at these times, the
opposite is most often True.

At times like these, when we are still under the Stress of the
moment, our emotions are disturbed and our thinking is clouded
due to the anxiety of whatever it is that is upsetting us. These
are the worst times for us to make a quick decision, promise,
commitment, or compromise. It is also the most inappropriate
time for us to "point fingers" and place blame.

When faced with any emotionally distressing or confusing situation,
the safest action we can normally take is to calm our minds and let
the situation play itself out. This enables us to put a little distance
between the us and the event that is upsetting us; thereby allowing
more information to come forth while, at the same time, allowing
our mind to become more settled.

This combination of distance and additional information is what
enables us to properly analyze the traumatic Event and make the
most appropriate and rational decision. For it is impossible to
clearly understand a stressful or chaotic situation clearly while we
are still under its spell. By allowing a certain period of Time to pass,
our emotions calm down, we are able to evaluate the situation with
clarity, and we prevent ourselves from saying or doing something
which we may later regret

In addition, we may also experience instances in our lives when we
have a severe emotional disagreement with another person and our
first impulse is to "rush in" and "make things right" with this
individual. This kind of emotional volatility falls into the same
category as any other emotionally stressful situation. For these are
the times when all individuals involved are emotionally distraught
and least able to make sound, rational, beneficial, and sincere
decisions.

When we find ourselves involved in stressful situations such as
these, it is very important to let an appropriate amount of time pass
before Words are spoken. Otherwise, every person who is involved
in this process may very well regret the words spoken, the Actions
taken, and the injuries inflicted which can never be healed or
reversed.

To take Action while under stress, or in a state of high-emotion,
causes us to make Decisions, statements, Promises, and
Compromises that we may not only regret but cannot be taken back.

Once an Action is done, it cannot be undone. Once we say
something hurtful to another person, we cannot take these words
back. Although we can apologize, an apology does not cure the
harm which has been inflicted. For the pain of our words will
always remain and our Relationship with that person will never be
the same.

The same goes for making commitments, compromises, and
promises while still under the influence of emotional stress.

Because our emotions are clouded and confused when we find
ourselves in emotionally stressful situations, anything we either
say or commit to while under the influences of these conditions
generally ends up being either broken, rescinded, or ignored;
resulting in behaviors that neither we, nor any of the other persons
who are involved, will ever be able to forget or fully Forgive.

Comments and Emails: I welcome comments and emails from
people with similar thoughts and feelings. My email address is
located in the upper-left area of this page. Comments can be
posted by using the "Comment" link located below each article.
Also: If you found value in this article please feel free to forward
it to other like-minded individuals, organizations and sites.

Disclaimer: None of my articles should be considered to be
either advice or expertise. They are simply personal opinions
and no more. Everyone is encouraged to seek competent
advice from a licensed, registered, or certified professional
should such advice or service be required.

© copyright Joseph Panek 2011

Relationships

"For every thing there is a season,
and a time for every purpose under heaven."
-Ecclesiastes

Relationships are Cycles in our lives. And just like any other Cycle,
they serve a purpose for a specific duration of Time.

Good Relationships are gifts; they are Blessings. We should be
thankful for experiencing a good Relationship when it enters our life
and be prepared to let it go when its Cycle comes to an end.

Relationships, like Cycles, can be extremely short, extremely long,
or fall somewhere in-between.

An example of an extremely short Relationship is a stranger who
provides us with directions when we are lost. We are thankful to the
stranger and leave this Relationship with a warm feeling of kindness
toward this individual for entering our life at the appropriate Time
and giving us guidance.

An example of an extremely long Relationship would be a childhood
friendship which remains with us for the duration of our Incarnation.

Marriages and romantic intimacies are also Relationships which
can last for varying degrees of Time. Some marriages last a lifetime
for both partners. However, a large number of marriages last for
only a finite amount of Time before their Cycles come to an end by
either divorce or through the physical death of one of the partners.

Physical death of one of the partners is Divine termination of a
Relationship once its purpose - its Cycle - has been completed.
And although we may feel as if a gift has been taken from us when
such an Event occurs, we eventually come to realize that Divinity,
in Its Infinite Wisdom, has provided us with a golden, untarnished
Memory which will accompany us, and guide us, throughout the
remainder of our Incarnation.

When we think back on our Past and current Relationships we
come to realize that none of these Relationships started out as
"bad". They all began with excitement, expectation, Hopes, and
dreams. And although they may have eventually deteriorated into
a "bad" Relationship, they did not start out that way.

Perhaps the most difficult thing for us to understand, and accept,
in a Relationship is when its Cycle is coming to and end. Upon
recognizing that a Relationship is coming to an end we should be
prepared to end the Relationship with the same tenderness and
kindness with which it began. We should bow out gracefully and
take nothing but fond experiences and Memories with us. Ending
a Relationship in this fashion is a sign of respect, class, and Wisdom
which has a positive effect and leaves both partners with warm
and kind Lessons and memories as they continue down the Path
of their future.

Failing to understand when a Relationship is over, and failing to
close a Relationship with class, respect, and Wisdom turns a once
wonderful experience sour and creates ill-will and negative Karma
for the concerned individuals throughout the remainder of their
physical Incarnations.

Relationships are special gifts and Blessings bestowed upon
us by Divinity and should be experienced and respected as such.
However, should it become necessary to close a Relationship, we
should invoke, and employ, Wisdom in the closure process.
For Wisdom, by its very own perfect nature, will allow both
individuals to move on while maintaining warm Memories of a
Relationship that was once wonderful, exciting, and young.

Comments and Emails: I welcome comments and emails from
people with similar thoughts and feelings. My email address is
located in the upper-left area of this page. Comments can be
posted by using the "Comment" link located below each article.
Also: If you found value in this article please feel free to forward
it to other like-minded individuals, organizations and sites.

Disclaimer: None of my articles should be considered to be
either advice or expertise. They are simply personal opinions
and no more. Everyone is encouraged to seek competent
advice from a licensed, registered, or certified professional
should such advice or service be required.

© copyright Joseph Panek 2010